Learning to Thrive: Beata's Advice to Aspiring Creatives
ARTICLES
Imagine a young self-employed woman sitting across from a client after a full day of work. The client asks the question: "So, how much do I owe you?" and her stomach knots. Her palms start sweating. She forces a smile and says, "Oh, you know... whatever you can give me, really."
This was Beata's reality. She has always been an ordinary woman, trying to earn money by doing what she loved but struggling to make ends meet due to personal attitudes and lack of confidence. For years, she believed this crushing discomfort with money was her personal failing but time and experience showed her that with a few key changes she can control her success. And now she is a well-known writer, a business co-founder, actress, TV host, and psychology graduate.
Several years ago Beata delivered a speech at a Lithuanian Young Business Conference where she shared the struggles she had experienced as a young creative and lessons she learned that helped her become more successful in life. Inspired by the talk, I translated the key points covered and I’m sharing her advice here below.
How It Started...
Beata always had a difficult relationship with money. As a student at The Lithuanian Academy of Music and Theatre, she noticed that all artists would typically feel that money is something dirty and should be avoided. She explained: “Some would say: money corrupts people, they’re a huge challenge, they soil your soul, you’re no longer spiritual“. She further highlighted that she and many other artists would feel extremely uncomfortable bringing up the topic of money after doing the work if it hadn’t been discussed with a client upfront.
In fact, Beata found any conversation about money to be extremely difficult: "Some would ask me how much I charge for eleven hours of work, and I’d just say, 'Well, however much you have or can give me.” Her level of discomfort was so intense that she thought it was unique to her but later discovered that this behaviour was very prevalent within the artists’ community.
This didn’t stop here though, she was not only unable to demand fair pay for the jobs she did, but also felt that she didn’t deserve the money for the jobs that she enjoyed doing. Instead, Beata would feel glad and thankful for being able to do the things she liked, not asking to get paid for them at all!
Another problem she remembered seeing amongst the artists was the inability to say „no“ to projects. She explained: „I think, when you agree to do a job that you don‘t actually want to do, you automatically refuse to do the jobs you‘d like to do”. This is because by agreeing to spend time on the projects she agreed on, she had no time left to do other projects that might have come her way afterwards. What made things even more difficult for Beata was that due to her inability to say “no”, she wouldn't feel comfortable confronting people for using her either. She continued: „My last point was when I recognised that I must learn to say „no“, I must repeat the word „no“ to myself until I feel comfortable saying it.“
Truths That Changed Everything
She Accepted that Speed Doesn't Equal Value
The revelation came slowly, then all at once: just because someone takes a month to write an article and she can do it in an hour, it doesn’t mean that the quality of her work will necessarily be worse. Depending on experience and skill, both articles can be very similar in quality despite the difference in time spent. So she accepted that her experience and skill both had value. Her efficiency was a feature, NOT a reason to charge less.
She added: "It doesn’t even matter if I was smiling while doing the job, if I didn’t break a sweat, or if I was happy – it still has value and should be paid for or receive some other form of remuneration."
Free Work Can Still Be Valuable
Beata still agrees to work for free once a month or so if she finds that a project is exciting and brings her joy as money is not her main motivator: “Sometimes there might be an amazing team of people working on a project that I want to work and build a relationship with. Or there might be a job out there where I can learn something new, which I think is even more valuable than money“.
The key difference here is choice. She decides which projects she will do for free before she starts them. Not because of guilt, or the voice in her head saying that real artists don't care about money.
Saying "No" Won't Kill Anyone
When Beata finally learned to decline offers with confidence, something surprising happened - nothing at all.
She explains: "I also finally learned how to say 'no' with confidence. I believe that the person offering me something is aware enough and won't have a heart attack or think the world will end if I tell them 'no' once." It's not only that no one had a heart attack when she said no, but she also hasn't faced any difficulties at all – no one has tried to persist or convince her to take up a project after she refused it.
What Success May Look Like
Beata isn't rich. She doesn‘t wear designer clothes, doesn’t have a car, and still lives in a rented flat – but being rich has never been her goal. What she truly wanted out of life was earning a living by doing work she actually enjoys.
She's no longer spreading herself thin to survive, but she is thriving and allowing herself to refuse more and more projects that she doesn't find purpose in or doesn’t enjoy that much.
The Magic of Action
Here's where Beata's story starts getting a little weird. She calls it "money magic," but it's really about action.
For years, she waited to have more money before moving out of her parents' house. To feel ready. Or for the "right moment." This waiting game never ever worked for her.
Instead, doing something before she felt fully ready made all the difference.
For example, she moved out from her parents place into an apartment with friends before she could afford the rent. A few days later - sitting on the sofa in a flat she rented not knowing where the hell she'll get the money to pay for it - her phone rang.
"Would you like to host a TV show?" a person on the other side asked.
This is what happened and this is how her life started to change.
But the initiative is important. Things rarely just happen if we don't persevere or at least take the first step towards them. „I remember how my friends would make fun of me for writing on Facebook in the past, but I kept doing that, because I wanted to travel, not to be tied to one place, just write on Facebook and be able to earn a living from it. Now I actually get advertising offers from companies and even though I look very carefully at it, I can see that it takes up a big part of my income“.
She later gave more examples trying to prove her point, suggesting that sometimes taking the first step towards a better life might be more effective than waiting for your life to change to do what you desire.
If You Want More Money – You'll Need to Change
There is another life truth that Beata recognised throughout the years: „I understood that if you want to have a higher income – you'll need to change. If your previous or your current thinking hasn’t allowed you to realise your ideas profitably, then it means that your thinking is flawed. It might be your thinking, your behaviour, or your habits that are the problem not allowing you to achieve the success that you want“. So, if we’re feeling stuck in life and just can’t seem to get what we want, then the first thing to check and change might be ourselves.
Beata also suggested that our success and income proportionally coincide with our creativity, attitude, initiative, and determination. She continued: „If you do not want to spend eight hours a day in the office every day and if you want to live differently than most of your friends, acquaintances, and other people, then you need to think and behave differently than they do. You need to be braver and more determined“.
Risk is another factor that affects our income. Beata explained that risk always follows the projects we create and new things we're putting our hands on – a risk of failing, losing someone‘s trust, disappointing people that matter to us, or even creating the first haters that will tell us how imperfect and bad we are. Beata was rather encouraging here though: „Everybody has to go through this and you can do this“.
The New Rules:
Beata didn't achieve her dream life by being more talented, but by changing five fundamental things, and here are her recommendations:
Don't use diminutive words. Especially when it comes to money and your work. She highlighted that if a potential client uses them with you, then it's a red flag, too. Be cautious as they might not be taking your contribution and your time seriously.
Introduce yourself with confidence. You can be many things. You don't have to pick one identity and limit yourself.
Never burn bridges. Be nice when saying goodbye even when you're hurt or angry. Chances are, you'll need to work with these people again.
Don't rely on barter. What you get for free, you'll value less. Invest money in what matters to increase your commitment to using it.
Value time over money. Get to the point fast. Discuss what matters early. Don't waste anyone's time, especially your own.
