How To Have Your Own Opinions

It starts small at first… We may have scrolled past a headline while half-asleep, read a comment under an article without paying too much attention, or watched a video that made us laugh… or think.

Then one day, we catch ourselves saying something in a random conversation that makes us stop for a second… because we said something that doesn’t even sound like us. "Where did that opinion come from?" we start asking ourselves.

We may not even remember forming it, but it’s there. Loud and clear. Almost like it was implanted inside our heads in secret.

Interestingly enough, we live in a world where it’s normal to think what everyone else thinks. Where forming and sharing our own opinions, especially if unusual, can be viewed as being... weird, different, strange.

But it shouldn’t be like this.

We should take our thoughts back and form independent opinions, rather than try fitting into what everyone else is thinking and saying. We shouldn’t live in a bubble.

Here is how we can take our power back and learn to think for ourselves:

Slow Down… Think A Little More

Accept it. Your opinions on certain topics have not been formed from your independent thought. They were programmed into you. Maybe by parents. The culture you grew up in. Social media... In many ways, your opinions about things are the reflections of the experiences you’ve had, people you‘ve met, books you’ve read, and maybe even movies you’ve watched.

Your mind is "clouded". Just like everyone else’s. You’re no more right than the next person.

Well, maybe you are. Let’s be honest - some opinions are just bad. We know this.

But stop for a second before speaking your mind. Give yourself time to clear the noise and think:

“Who gave you this belief?”

”Why do you think this way?”

“What do you actually know, have seen, or experienced to have this opinion?”

Be curious… and Listen To People You Don’t Agree With

I’ve always been a rather curious person. But I’d constantly find myself in situations where I’d form an opinion about certain things after reading something, but then start questioning it after reading something that contradicts the first one.

“They all seem to have valid points, really…” I would think.

“Am I going mad?”

“Both things make sense to some extent…”

Needless to say, being curious made me a person of very few strong opinions.

In fact, it takes a relatively long time for me to form opinions I think I should fight for. I rarely get into heated arguments and almost never try to prove my point or think that my opinions are superior to someone else’s… There were times - yes - but I generally like to keep my opinions to myself and hear what others have to say instead.

Listening to people you don’t agree with is useful because you need to hear different perspectives and where they’re coming from. Others’ opinions might be flawed or even absolute nonsense, and you’ll know this, but maybe… maybe you’ll discover new valid points about something that has never crossed your mind before.

Discussing thoughts with someone you disagree with is even more powerful. Can you convince another person that your opinion is… right? You don’t have to, but if you can form strong arguments to support it, then your opinion is more likely to be your own.

If not? It’s not strong enough. It’s fragile. It might not even be yours…

So think about it: are all your opinions worth fighting for? Or should you listen more, read more, experience more… to slowly build your own?

Develop Critical Thinking

While being curious is important, critical thinking is what helps us not to lose our minds.

When it comes to deeper topics, we need to question and analyse everything we read. Are the facts presented real? Are the referenced resources trustworthy? In today’s world, where writing is so easy for average people, anybody can say anything.

Never trust every single thing you read, even if you trust the person writing it. Analyse all arguments and evaluate all evidence presented. Don’t just pick a few things to check - check everything. Sometimes, one incorrect/fabricated “fact” can invalidate the whole statement.

We also have biases, so we need to recognise them, too. Remember, if you’re leaning towards a certain viewpoint/opinion, you'll naturally gravitate towards literature and people who support it, deepening it. This frequently leads to turning a blind eye to incorrect evidence and arguments that you’d otherwise notice. So stay curious and stay diligent - especially on the internet. Don’t let people influence your opinions without providing real facts.

But also recognise that opinions are just that. They are subjective. They are based on our personal feelings, perspectives and beliefs - they are not right or wrong, but the arguments and facts we use to support them can be. Opinions simply are, and we are free to have our own, without judgment.

Certain Topics Are Too Complex To Have Opinions About

Listen… we don’t know everything. A lot of information that reaches us can frequently be incomplete, complicated and/or manipulated in some way.

We don’t need to form opinions about complex things if we have limited knowledge about them. And it’s an intelligent thing to accept that we may not know enough yet.

Give yourself space to explore. Be without an opinion for a while. Don’t lock it in yet if you’re not convinced you got it right.

The world is filled with people spreading misinformation and influencing flawed thinking. Don’t trust everything you read and hear. Step back and let yourself think. If the topic is too complex for you, don’t accept someone else’s thoughts and opinions as gospel. And don’t adopt them as your own.

It might be better to have no opinion about something than to hold someone else’s opinion as your own and fight for it with everything you’ve got…

Make The Most Of Your “Alone” Time

Many people don’t like to be alone. In private with their thoughts. Many prefer to brainstorm, bounce ideas off each other, influence each other’s thoughts, and complete each other’s sentences. Being around people all the time can make it very difficult to think.

And when we don’t have time to think for ourselves, we become more and more similar to the people we spend the most time with. And yes, we get stuck in groupthink and shared opinions. We’re in a bubble. We’re right and think everyone else is wrong…

You need time in solitude if you want to have clear thinking and form opinions that are your own. Without TV shows, without books, without podcasts… without anything that influences you in some way. Let yourself think. Find connections between things in your mind. Decide what you need to read more about to firm up certain lines of thinking. What facts are you missing?

Your own thoughts live in quiet places. And this is where your opinions have space and freedom to form.

Your First Opinion Doesn’t Have To Be Your Last

So you’ve got it. An opinion about something that you feel is truly yours. That's good.

But it’s also totally fine to change it later down the line.

All your opinions are like you — a living, breathing thing. They evolve, they grow, and change as you evolve, grow and change.

Your opinions are not set in stone. They are a mirror of the life you’ve lived so far. So don’t feel like you’re betraying yourself by changing them. Accept your freedom to “upgrade” them as you “upgrade” yourself.