How to Think for Yourself in a World That Thinks for You

It starts small at first… You may have scrolled past a headline while half-asleep, read a comment under an article without paying too much attention, or watched a video that made you laugh.

Weeks later, you catch yourself saying something in a random conversation that makes you stop for a second, because you aren't even sure you really agreed with the opinion you shared. You start wondering where it even came from. You don't remember forming it, but it’s there. Pretty damn loud and clear, as if it was implanted inside your head in secret.

It's a little strange, but I've noticed how normal it's become to think what everyone else thinks. Where forming and sharing our own opinions, especially if unusual, can be viewed as being weird, different, or annoying.

I recently started evaluating more of my own thoughts and opinions to understand if they're really my own or something I thought was right to think because everyone else around me did. And it wasn't as easy as I thought it would be - some of my opinions were kind of mine, but also not entirely? I started trying to untangle these things piece by piece and came up with some ideas that can help us form our own opinions. You know, just so that we wouldn't live our lives thinking and believing things just because people with stronger opinions or influence said we should.

Question where your thoughts came from

Some of your opinions on certain topics haven't been formed from your independent thought. They were unintentionally shaped by the people and environment around you. Maybe by your parents, the culture you grew up in, or social media... They're just reflections of the experiences you’ve had, people you’ve met, books you’ve read, and maybe movies you’ve watched.

Your mind is probably a little “clouded” just like everyone else’s. Sometimes you might not even be more right than the next person, no matter how convinced you feel that you are.

Well, maybe you are, if you have stronger evidence and reasoning behind your opinions. So I'm not talking about the ones that you have carefully crafted and formed. I'm talking about the ones that randomly pop up in a conversation, and you don't remember yourself consciously evaluating them.

So when you find yourself sharing them freely without prior deliberation, stop for a second, clear the noise, and think:

“Who gave you this belief?”

“Why do you think this way?”

“What have you actually seen, experienced, or learned that supports it?”

"What is the evidence that challenges it?"

Borrow perspectives, not opinions

I’ve always been a curious person. I think that's why I’d constantly find myself in situations where I’d form an opinion about certain things after reading something, but then start questioning it after reading something contradicting it.

I'd think that they both have very valid points. I would try to weigh them to find which one makes more sense, but would just end up feeling that I have no idea what's actually going on.

There were times when I felt that I was going mad after changing my opinion about something several times, based on the new evidence I encountered.

So being curious made me a person with very few strong opinions. I'm kind of just keen to listen to what other people have to say, to see where their arguments fit in my own web of thoughts.

Listening to people you don’t agree with is useful because you need to hear different perspectives and where they’re coming from. Others’ opinions might be flawed or even absolute nonsense, but their perspective can let you discover new valid points about something that has never crossed your mind before.

Discussing thoughts with someone you disagree with is even more powerful. Can you convince another person that your opinion is more correct? You don’t have to, but if you can form strong arguments to support it, then your opinion is more likely to be your own.

If not, your opinion might still be fragile. That doesn't make it wrong - it simply means that it's worth looking at it more closely before calling it your own.

Facts first, opinions second

While being curious is important, critical thinking is what helps us not to lose our minds.

When it comes to deeper topics, we need to question and analyse everything we read. Are the presented facts real and accurate? Are the referenced resources trustworthy? In today’s world, where writing is so easy for all of us, anybody can say anything. You can even ask AI to evaluate it for you, and it can confidently fabricate information. Crazy stuff.

So never trust every single thing you read, even if you trust the person writing it. Analyse all arguments and evaluate all evidence presented. Don’t just pick a few things to check -  check everything. Sometimes, one incorrect/fabricated “fact” can invalidate the whole statement.

We also have biases, and they're very good at hiding from us. If you're already leaning towards a certain opinion, you'll naturally gravitate towards people and information that reinforce it. In the process, you'll be far more likely to overlook evidence that challenges it. Just stay curious and stay diligent - especially on the internet. Don’t let people influence your opinions without providing real facts.

But also recognise that opinions are just that. They are subjective, personal conclusions. They're shaped by our experiences, perspectives, and values. Two people can look at the same facts and still reach different opinions. That's perfectly normal (and very interesting I have to say). What matters is whether those opinions are built on careful thinking and reliable evidence rather than assumptions, misinformation, or simply borrowing it from someone else.

You don't have to have an opinion yet

We don’t know everything. A lot of the information that reaches us is incomplete, complicated, or missing important context.

And I don't think we necessarily need to form opinions about complex things we haven't taken the time to understand. It can be an intelligent thing to accept that we may not know enough yet.

Give yourself space to explore. Be without an opinion for a while. Don’t lock it in yet if you’re not convinced you got it.

The world is filled with people spreading misinformation and influencing flawed and incomplete thinking. This is because sometimes we don't know what we don't know. We can only make decisions based on the information we have, and that information can be incomplete or missing crucial pieces. It might be better to have no opinion at all about something than to hold someone else’s opinion as your own and fight for it with everything you’ve got.

Your best thinking happens in quiet

Many people don’t like to be alone with their thoughts. Many prefer to brainstorm, bounce ideas off each other, influence each other’s thoughts, and complete each other’s sentences. But being around people all the time can make it very difficult to think.

And when we don’t have time to think for ourselves, we become more and more similar to the people we spend the most time with. And yes, we get stuck in groupthink and shared opinions. We’re in a bubble. We think we’re right and everyone outside of our bubble is wrong.

Spending regular time in solitude can help develop clearer thinking and form opinions that are actually your own. Without TV shows, without books, without podcasts. Without reaching out for stronger voices to influence you in any way. Just let yourself think deeply from time to time to find connections between things in your mind, and notice what ideas emerge from your own mind.

Your own thoughts live in quiet places. And this is where your opinions have the space and freedom to form.

Changing your mind is a strength

So you’ve got one. An opinion about something that you feel is truly yours. And that’s pretty good.

But it’s also totally fine to change it later down the line.

All your opinions are like you - living, breathing things. They evolve, grow, and change as you evolve, grow, and change.

So don't set them in stone. Allow them to be a reflection of the life you’ve lived so far. You’re not betraying yourself by changing your mind about something. Accept your freedom to “upgrade” them as you “upgrade” yourself.

In other words, the goal is not to think differently than anyone else. And it's not to form opinions that are correct and have no business changing. The goal is to have opinions that are earned with real experience, real facts, and careful consideration of perspectives that challenge them.

Thank you for reading,

Lina

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